I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to deal with something awful or have been stabbed in the back or hurt by people close to me.
Sometimes the worst-case scenario happens and there is no silver lining.
My mom died of Multiple Myeloma four years ago after battling this cancer for a long time. At the time, I was working at a big law firm. My new boss – a former colleague of mine who was promoted to the role – judged me for going back to work too quickly in her eyes. To me, having some sense of normalcy and routine was incredibly helpful to take my mind off of the grief process, which is long and winding . She suddenly picked on me daily for fabricated reasons, gave me a phony bad review and tons of extra work. I couldn’t seem to do anything right no matter what. She later pushed me out of the firm just five months later. I learned from a senior person at the firm that she wanted to fire me right when my mom died but the firm wouldn’t allow her to do it.
My significant replaced me while we were living together with one of our acquaintances and then spread lies about me to cover for his desire to end our relationship and make me look like the villain. I felt as if I was framed for things I didn’t do and once again I couldn’t do anything right and was picked on almost daily over the two months before he left. He then came after me with a heartless vengeance as I tried to make sense of suddenly being discarded
A former friend of mine told my ex and others many damaging and untrue things that I allegedly said about others in our friend group. Her sole motive seems to have been to cause drama and turmoil. She wound up causing so much pain in my life such as encouraging my ex and the woman he started dating after me to be together. I struggle to make sense of her betrayal.
My employer turned its back on me when I was going through a mental health crisis due to my ex suddenly leaving me. I loved that job and the people there, and I was so shocked and hurt at how they treated me.
My beloved dog died after struggling with epilepsy his whole life. I could go on and on.
But I don’t let these bad things that happened to me stop me from being a good person and helping others, because that’s just not who I am as a person.
You don’t need a good reason to be good to others or to help others.
What you do reflects who you are. If you go out of your way to help others and be kind, that defines you.
If you are kind and helpful without asked to do those things, that shows your true character. Now this doesn’t mean that you continue to be kind and go out of your way for people who have hurt or disappointed you. That means that you have boundaries and focus your attention on those who do appreciate you.
I also think giving back to your community and finding a cause for which you are passionate is one way to positively channel your good intentions. For me it is homelessness and animals in need. Finding ways to help those who really need help is how I find fulfillment and hope even after all of the bad things that have unfairly happened to me. I strongly encourage you to find and actively participate in a cause that is important to you.
I know it’s hard to keep being kind and good to people when you’ve been knocked down or hurt, or when you see good things happen to bad people, but stay true to who you are. Good people eventually triumph. And karma works in mysterious ways. Being a good person is just the right thing to do.