Many of us have haters and naysayers – people who root for us to fail and enjoy when bad things happen to us.

It’s amazing how many of them come out of the woodwork and how many of them masquerade as your “friends” when all along they were actually jealous of you or secretly hating on you.

While this happens mostly among women, I’ve also seen it with men as well- and I’m talking about grown adult women and men.

Here’s what I have to say about them after having experienced my fair share of them.

The haters dread how high you hold your head. They hate when you thrive. They love tearing you down and bullying you and gossiping about you with others. The gossip makes them feel better about themselves. Turning others against you, embellishing stories and causing drama makes them feel powerful.

Behind the scenes they’ve likely been spreading rumors and hating on you while pretending to be your friend for a long time. The poison is so insidious that you likely didn’t even see it coming. I surely didn’t when it happened to me. A woman I introduced to my friend circle undermined my friendships and my relationship with my significant other while pretending to be a close friend. A former boss of mine tried to push me out of my job because she was threatened by me and eventually fired me. We used to be colleagues and then she was promoted above me.

It’s incredible how every time when those of us who have been targeted by these bullies eventually continue to shine despite their efforts to undermine us. Even if we stumble temporarily because of their machinations. We will always prevail because bullies never win. Karma catches up with them.

Let them help you become a better version of yourself. There’s a lesson in everything if we look hard enough. Even when terrible things happen and we can’t see the silver lining. Oftentimes these situations push us to grow.

Have the courage to be disliked. As long as you are okay with who you are and you know you are a good person, who cares about these haters? The more successful you are, the more haters you will have. They help you figure out who your real friends and supporters are.

I’ve been bullied by a couple of grown women and men in the past few years as I noted above and here’s what they have in common – they are all insecure people who are unhappy with their own lives and grappling with their own issues, taking them out on me for some sad reason.

I couldn’t believe how many people enjoyed watching bad things happen to me and contributed to it. These were people who I thought were my friends. It was fun for some reason for them and all of a sudden so many different things about me were misconstrued. I’ve never been the target of such maliciousness – except for middle school. It was heartless and cruel.

Here’s the thing – when people dislike you for no reason, know that it’s their insecurity and inferiority rearing its ugly head. Once you understand how much of it is projection, you can depersonalize and ignore it.

Ignore these little people. They are bullies. They are insignificant. Like a fly. So swat them away.