If you follow my blog you know I’ve been through some pretty tough times over the past few years, including dealing with my the death of my mom from cancer, my dog passing away, my significant other suddenly leaving me and then finding out he had lined up one of our mutual acquaintances to date immediately after me, several of my close friends betraying me and losing my job as a result of having situational depression due to all of this. Yikes right?
I can look back on these tough times now and be so proud that I made it through and better than ever.
Here’s what I want to say to all of you who are also experiencing tough times – just keep going.
No matter how stuck you feel, no matter how bad things are right now, no matter how many days you’ve spent crying, no matter how many days you’ve spent wishing things were different. You will not feel this way forever. Just keep going.
Things really do get better. You have an opportunity to rebuild your life. You know that saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? Well it’s true. I’m living proof of it, and I know there are so many other people out there who are as well. The most important thing is to take care of yourself and to give up the idea that you can control what other people think or do – just focus on you and putting one foot in front of the other.
Letting go is hard – but what’s harder is losing yourself in the wrong situation. The universe thankfully pulled me out of a toxic relationship and a dead-end job to bring me to greater things.
What got me though these hard times (and continues to help) is the following:
- Leaning on my family and real friends
- Finding a creative outlet – for me it’s writing, as you can tell
- Don’t be afraid to tell others and your employer that you are going through a tough time. Unfortunately my employer at the time didn’t support me. But that doesn’t mean yours won’t, and it’s better to let them know why you aren’t on your A-game.
- Don’t ruminate on what happened -people do terrible things and change their minds every day
- Appreciate all that you have in your life – all the good people and things that make you happy
- Find joy in the little things – for me it’s my puppies
- Be kinder to everyone – being knocked down can really show you the importance of being kind and giving back
- Read motivational books and podcasts
- Get as far away from people who exhibit red flags. My mom used to say that how it starts is how it will wind up – well he lined me up while in a long-term relationship so of course that’s what he was going to do to me
- See people for who they really are not what you want them to be
Sometimes things don’t happen for a reason. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes there is no sense in the nonsense. But life will give you moments that are crystal clear that will bring you to an understanding of why things all happened the way they did. Sometimes it’s a person, an experience, a realization, a change – sometimes it’s all of these.
No matter what you’ve walked through, you deserve happiness. Don’t settle for anything less.