For a long time, I thought business development meant asking for work. Making the pitch. Selling yourself. Trying to convince someone to say yes.
It felt uncomfortable. Forced. Like something you had to be naturally good at or else you were out of luck.
But over time, I’ve learned that’s not what actually drives business. The people who grow the strongest, most consistent practices aren’t always the boldest or the most polished. They’re the ones who stay in touch. Who follow up. Who make the effort to build relationships without expecting anything in return.
They become the first call not because they chased the work, but because they stayed visible in the right ways. They earned trust slowly by being helpful, thoughtful and reliable. They kept showing up, even when there wasn’t a deal on the table.
It turns out that the kind of business development that works best isn’t about pushing. It’s about being present. Listening. Remembering the things people tell you. Sharing something relevant at the right moment. Being easy to work with.
That’s what this article is about.
How to build the kind of presence that leads to real relationships. The kind that keeps your name in the conversation. The kind that grows a practice over time, one check-in, one email, one thoughtful interaction at a time.
Stop Trying to Sell
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is trying to force business development. They reach out when they want something. They lead with a pitch. They follow up with pressure. And they wonder why it feels awkward or falls flat.
People can tell when there’s an ask coming. It shifts the tone. It creates distance. It makes the other person feel like a transaction instead of a relationship.
If you want to grow a book of business, start by shifting how you show up.
Don’t reach out to close a deal. Reach out to stay in touch. To be helpful. To be present.
The professionals who become trusted advisors—the first call when someone needs help—don’t get there by selling. They get there by showing up in ways that feel thoughtful and genuine, not strategic or scripted.
They’re consistent. They follow through. They’re easy to talk to. And they’re memorable, not because they chase the work, but because they’ve built real relationships.
Here are a few ways to do that:
- Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while just to say hi
- Send an article or resource you think they’ll find helpful
- Share something from their LinkedIn feed and add a personal comment
- Follow up after seeing them at an event or in the news
- Make an introduction you think would be useful, with no strings attached
- Congratulate them on a new role or professional milestone
- Ask about their work or priorities without trying to insert yourself
None of these things require a pitch. But they all build trust.
And trust is what turns contacts into clients.
What Makes Someone Want to Work With You
It’s easy to think business development is about having the right pitch or the most polished bio. But in practice, the people who consistently attract work and referrals tend to share a few core traits. None of them are flashy. All of them are rooted in trust and consistency.
The professionals who build strong relationships and grow their practices over time tend to show up in ways that feel grounded and dependable. Here’s what that looks like:
- They are trusted: You know they’ll do what they say they’re going to do. You can rely on them to follow through. They meet deadlines. They communicate clearly. There’s no second-guessing.
- They are liked: You enjoy talking to them. Conversations feel easy. They don’t make things harder than they need to be. You feel comfortable reaching out, and you’re glad when they do the same.
- They are valued: Their advice makes you pause and think. When they speak, people listen. They have a way of distilling complex ideas into clear guidance. Even if you don’t hire them right away, you remember what they said.
- They are knowledgeable: They’ve done the work. They understand the nuances. They’re up to speed on what’s happening in your industry or your business. And they use that insight to be helpful, not to show off.
These aren’t traits you can fake. They’re earned over time through the way you communicate, the way you follow up, and the way you treat people.
The professionals who show up with these qualities become the ones people turn to again and again. Not because they asked for the work, but because they earned the relationship.
What This Looks Like in Action
The people who succeed in business development often don’t look like they’re doing anything special. They’re not flashy. But they are consistent.
Here’s what that looks like in practice:
- They ask thoughtful questions that show they’re paying attention
- They follow up after meetings with a relevant article or thought
- They stay in touch even when there’s no work on the table
- They make introductions that are genuinely helpful
- They notice when people change jobs or get promoted and reach out
- They find natural ways to be part of conversations that matter
These small actions compound over time. They build familiarity. They build trust. And when someone finally needs what you do, they remember you.
Visibility Is a Long Game
People don’t think of you if they never hear from you. That’s why staying visible matters.
You don’t need to flood people’s feeds or constantly post updates. What matters is being present in ways that reflect who you are and the work you do.
That could mean sharing a short takeaway from a recent project. Commenting on a client’s post with something thoughtful. Checking in with a former colleague. Or reposting an article with a quick perspective of your own.
Here are some easy ways to stay top of mind:
- Comment on someone’s post in a way that adds value
- Share something you’ve learned or noticed in your work
- Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while
- Mention a recent client success or new project
- Post about a trend or question you’ve been thinking about
These small touches build recognition over time. They show that you’re active, engaged and thoughtful. And they make it easier for others to remember you when they need someone they can trust.
You Already Know How to Do This
If you’ve ever helped a colleague prepare for a meeting, given a client honest advice or introduced two people who needed to know each other, you’ve done business development.
That’s what it looks like when it works. It doesn’t always have a label. It doesn’t need a pitch deck.
The key is to recognize those moments and do more of them. On purpose. With care. And without expecting something in return right away.
Why It Matters
In a world where people are constantly being asked for something, it stands out when someone reaches out just to be helpful.
It stands out when you remember someone’s goals and send an article a month later that’s still relevant.
It stands out when you follow up without an agenda.
All of these small gestures show that you’re not just trying to win business. You’re paying attention. You’re engaged. You know what you’re talking about. And you’re someone they’ll want to work with when the moment comes.
Keep Showing Up
Business development is not about making a big impression once. It’s about staying top of mind in ways that feel authentic and grounded.
You don’t have to be someone else to do this well. You just have to be yourself at your best, consistently.
Reach out when it feels right. Be generous with your knowledge. Look for ways to help. Stay visible in a way that makes sense for your strengths and your schedule.
The work will come when the relationships are strong.
Build a Relationship Pipeline
Most professionals focus too much on short-term outreach and not enough on building a steady relationship pipeline.
That pipeline is made up of former clients, former colleagues, referral sources, people you admire, people who have influence and people you simply enjoy talking to.
You don’t need to reach out to everyone at once. But you do need to keep the list active. Who haven’t you spoken to in six months? Who used to send you referrals but hasn’t in a while? Who recently changed jobs and might need new support?
Create a system for checking in. It can be as simple as a spreadsheet or calendar reminder. The point is to make it a habit. Not a one-off.
Strong business developers don’t leave this to chance. They stay organized. They keep relationships warm. And they treat staying in touch as part of their job, not something extra they do when they have time.
Common Mistakes That Get in the Way
A lot of professionals unintentionally make business development harder than it needs to be.
They wait too long between touchpoints. They only reach out when they need something. They disappear after a deal closes or after a proposal falls through. Or they try to sound impressive rather than being real.
Business development works best when it’s rooted in consistency and authenticity.
Trying to sound polished or overly strategic can backfire. You don’t need to be clever. You need to be clear and thoughtful.
And remember, it’s not the perfect note or LinkedIn post that moves the needle. It’s showing up regularly and being helpful more often than not.
A Quick Story
A senior lawyer I know built most of her practice not by speaking on big stages or running flashy campaigns, but by staying connected to people she genuinely liked and respected.
She made time for former colleagues, past clients and peers in the industry. She didn’t try to sell anything. She shared ideas, asked questions and paid attention to what people cared about.
Over time, people started coming to her with opportunities. Not because she had the best website or the biggest team, but because they trusted her. They liked her. And they knew she understood their world.
Her approach worked because it was real. It was grounded in relationships, not transactions.
Practical Ways to Start
If you’re not sure where to begin, start small.
- Make a list of five people you haven’t talked to in a while. Reach out to one today
- Comment on a client’s or colleague’s LinkedIn post in a meaningful way
- Forward an article with a short note that says why it made you think of them
- Invite someone to coffee, lunch or a short catch-up call with no agenda
- Follow up after a meeting with a helpful resource or a simple thank you
- Congratulate someone on a new role or a work milestone
- Offer to make an introduction between two people who could help each other
None of these things take long. But they make an impression. And they add up.
Questions to Reflect On
If you want to get better at relationship-driven business development, ask yourself:
- Who are three people I want to reconnect with this month?
- What do I want to be known for?
- What makes me someone others trust, like or respect?
- How am I showing that through my actions and communication?
- What does staying visible look like for me, in a way that fits my strengths and energy?
- What am I doing to make it easy for others to think of me when they need help?
You don’t need to overcomplicate this. Start with one conversation at a time.
What to Do Next
Think about three people you haven’t connected with in a while. Reach out to one of them today.
Not to pitch. Not to ask for anything. Just to say hello. To ask how they’re doing. To share something useful or thoughtful.
That’s how it starts. Real relationships aren’t built in one conversation. They grow over time through small moments of connection.
The professionals who get the most opportunities are the ones who stay present. They show up before they’re needed. They follow up after the meeting. They check in without an agenda.
Start there. One email. One message. One genuine check-in.
The goal isn’t to close business. It’s to stay in someone’s mind in a helpful, authentic way. That’s what builds trust. That’s what leads to referrals, invitations, and new work.
You don’t need a perfect system. You just need to make the first move. Then another. Then another.
This kind of outreach doesn’t just help your practice. It strengthens your network in a way that feels good—for both of you.
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