As an extroverted extrovert, social distancing was not easy for me. But now that restrictions are starting to lift and many of us have already gotten the vaccine, we will soon start interacting in person with others.
This is a great time to think about the kinds of people with whom we want to surround ourselves once we get back to “normal.” We are under no obligation to return to the way things were.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the last year it’s that I don’t need a large circle of friends anymore. I need a close-knit group of friends who I can trust, who are kind, who support me and who I know have my back.
After some really terrible things that happened to me about two years ago that made me question the people I had allowed in my inner circle, I took stock of every aspect of my life and made some major changes.
Today I have much deeper, closer friendships. And I ended some superficial and toxic ones. This social butterfly stopped being so social after being stabbed in the back and bullied by several mean girls who I thought were my friends – frenemies.
If you haven’t had a chance to think about the people who are in your life and whether you want them to continue being part of it, do it now. And continue to socially distance yourself from people who:
- Don’t respect your boundaries
- Don’t see your worth
- Put you down
- Ignore or marginalize you
- Make disparaging comments
- Don’t respect you
- Don’t support you or question you
- Make you feel like you can’t be yourself
- Talk about you to others
- Patronize you
- Aren’t happy for your successes but seem to enjoy when you fail
- Seem to use you
- Don’t have the same values as you
Sometimes less is more when it comes to friendships and relationships. And I really do think that social distancing enabled us to take stock of everything in our lives and hit the reset button. There were a lot of friends with whom I had very superficial relationships, including friends that were really relegated to social media.
And while I am a huge proponent of using social media to build relationships, I also think that it gives a view into our lives that isn’t always accurate or necessary. As a result, I cut off a lot of people’s access to me, and I stopped sharing as much. And it’s never felt better.
So choose to think about this is a good thing and make some very wise decisions when it comes to who is in your life.
Make 2021 all about putting yourself first, being kind to yourself and others, and being a good friend.
They say that you should never forget who was there for you during a hard time, who put you in a hard time and who wasn’t there for you during a hard time. Pay attention to all of these as you think about who you want in your life.