My 30s were a time of great personal and professional growth. Of course failures and tough times were sprinkled in as well.

During that decade I went through things I never thought imaginable, such as losing my mom to cancer, losing a great love who just didn’t want the same things as me and a few jobs that just didn’t turn out as expected or hoped.

I gained a lot too. Confidence. Resilience. Lifelong friendships. Stronger ties with my family. Success at work. It wasn’t easy.

Here are some of the most important things I learned, which have helped me to come into my own today. I wouldn’t trade in any of the experiences I had as they have made me who I am.

Every hard period in my life showed me that I am stronger and more resilient than I thought I was.

I hope these tips are helpful to some of you so that you don’t have to go through some of the things I have. My entire reason for having this blog is to help others.

  1. The struggles you faced and the pain you’ve gone through can become your biggest strengths and lessons.
  2. If you feel hesitant or nervous telling someone close to you about good news, they probably shouldn’t be close to you.
  3. Spend less time chasing people and more time chasing your dreams.
  4. Worry less about whether someone likes you or whether they want to hire you and more about if you even like them or want the job.
  5. Stop choosing what isn’t choosing you.
  6. Stop being surprised by repeated bad behavior. Notice and believe patterns.
  7. You don’t need to be perfect to be successful in any area of your life. No one is perfect.
  8. Never let anyone make you feel like you aren’t good enough or you aren’t doing a good job when you are.
  9. Be self aware enough to make changes that support your growth, but at the same time, accept yourself for who you are.
  10. With time everything gets better. No matter how terrible something is right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
  11. You can make it through anything – a breakup or divorce, death in family, getting fired.
  12. The sacrifices you make now will pay off in the future.
  13. Life is about quality over quantity.
  14. Your diet isn’t just about what you eat. It’s what you watch, what you read, who you follow and spend time with. If your goal is to be healthier, you have to start by removing all of the “junk” from your “diet.”
  15. Learn how to put your ego in check. Sometimes our pride can get in the way of a lot of things.
  16. Always be humble. Don’t brag. Especially as you continue to become more successful.
  17. Let go of comparing yourself to others.
  18. Stop defining yourself by your mistakes. You will get things wrong from time to time. We are all imperfect. Just keep growing.
  19. Forgive yourself for the red flags you overlooked. Now you know better.
  20. Stop being so hard on yourself.
  21. Live your life in the present. Stop dwelling on the past and worrying about the future.
  22. Reflect on the lessons you’ve learned instead of ruminating on your mistakes.
  23. Be more patient and kind.
  24. Suspend your snap judgment on something or someone until you have more facts.
  25. Stop taking what others say and do so personally.
  26. Invest in fewer, authentic relationships and keep your circle small.
  27. Don’t be afraid of failure – failures help lead to success.
  28. It’s no one’s responsibility to make you happy. Don’t expect someone or something to change your life. Only you can do that.
  29. No one owes you anything. You are the leader of your own life. Work hard for what you want.
  30. Not everyone thinks like you. What makes sense to you doesn’t always make sense to someone else. Communication is key.

Remember that you can do anything to which you put your mind. And you are not defined by your past. Learn from every experience good and bad. It’s never too late to find happiness or success.