Business development makes many lawyers uneasy. Approaching new potential clients, asking for meetings or talking about your services can feel awkward and intimidating – trust me, I get it. Many worry about coming across as pushy or unprepared. That nervousness doesn’t mean you lack skill or talent. More often, it means no one has shown you how to approach business development in a way that fits your style and feels natural.
The good news is that many lawyers who felt this way in the beginning became some of the most effective rainmakers. The difference is all about shifting your mindset and developing a few simple habits.
When you lead with genuine care and focus on helping others instead of just selling, business development becomes easier and more rewarding. Small consistent actions build confidence and create meaningful, lasting connections. This article explores why business development feels hard for many lawyers and offers tips to help you move past nervousness toward steady progress.
Why Business Development Feels Hard and Why That’s Okay
The reality is that business development is not something lawyers are usually taught. Legal education focuses on skills like research, writing and argumentation but rarely covers how to grow your practice or build client relationships.
Many lawyers think business development means pushing a service or selling aggressively. That can feel uncomfortable. When combined with a fear of rejection or failure, it’s easy to understand why many avoid business development altogether. The truth is, nervousness is a normal response to stepping outside your comfort zone and asking for something. It doesn’t mean you are not capable or that you lack the qualities needed to succeed. It simply means you need to develop the right mindset and learn practical ways to approach business development. Everyone starts somewhere. Accepting nervousness as a normal part of the process helps reduce its power and frees you to begin making progress in a way that feels manageable.
Tips to ease nervousness about business development
- Accept that feeling nervous is natural and common.
- Remind yourself that business development is a skill you can learn and improve.
- Give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them.
- Break down business development into small, manageable steps.
- Keep track of your progress to see how far you’ve come.
Change Your Mindset: Business Development Is Helping Not Selling
One of the most powerful mindset shifts in business development is to stop viewing it as selling and start seeing it as helping. At its core, business development is about opening doors and starting meaningful conversations around how you can support others. You bring insights and expertise that clients genuinely value, and when you approach these interactions as a service rather than a pitch, the experience transforms.
It becomes less about pushing for a deal and more about offering something relevant and helpful. This shift allows you to engage with authenticity and confidence, turning the process into a dialogue rather than a transaction. When you lead with empathy and focus on adding value, people respond positively, and trust builds naturally. Over time, those conversations can evolve into real opportunities.
Tips for shifting your business development mindset
- Tell yourself you are there to help, not to pressure.
- Focus on listening to clients and understanding their needs.
- Think about what value you bring instead of what you want to get.
- Approach conversations with curiosity, not urgency.
- Remind yourself that building trust takes time.
Build Confidence One Small Step at a Time
Confidence doesn’t show up all at once. It builds through steady, intentional effort. In business development, many lawyers feel overwhelmed because they expect too much too soon. Instead of trying to land a major client right away, it’s more helpful to focus on small steps you can take consistently. Sending a useful email, making a genuine introduction or asking a thoughtful question all count as progress.
Those small wins create momentum. They help you find your voice, refine your approach and learn what resonates. As you gain experience from each interaction, your confidence grows. The key is to set goals that feel manageable and to recognize every positive connection as a step forward. Over time, these actions turn business development from something stressful into something familiar and rewarding.
Tips for building BD momentum
- Set realistic weekly goals that feel manageable.
- Celebrate each positive interaction, no matter how small.
- Keep a journal of your business development activities and outcomes.
- Identify patterns of what works best and refine your approach.
- Practice business development tasks regularly to build habit and comfort.
Prepare Like Any Important Meeting
Treat business development like any other important meeting. A big source of anxiety is walking into a conversation without enough context. If you don’t know much about the person or their needs, it’s easy to feel unsure. Preparation is the best way to avoid that.
Before a call or meeting, take time to learn about the person’s role, company, industry and possible challenges. The more informed you are, the more confident you’ll feel. Preparation helps you ask better questions and share insights that matter. It shifts the tone from uncertain to engaging. Showing genuine curiosity signals respect and interest, which builds trust and helps you stand out.
This doesn’t have to be a heavy lift. Even a few minutes of focused prep can make a big difference. When you make it a habit, business development starts to feel less intimidating and a lot more effective.
Tips for preparation
- Dedicate at least 15 minutes to research before calls or meetings.
- Review recent news articles or company announcements about the prospect.
- Look for common connections or shared interests on LinkedIn.
- Prepare three thoughtful questions tailored to the prospect’s business.
- Have a clear agenda or objective for the conversation to stay focused.
Focus On Building Relationships Not Immediate Results
When lawyers begin doing business development, it’s natural to hope for quick results. You put effort into a conversation or send a thoughtful follow-up and wonder if it will lead to something right away. But most of the time, it doesn’t and that’s okay.
Business development is rarely immediate. It’s a longer process built on trust, consistency and genuine connection. The goal isn’t to close a deal in one conversation. It’s to build a relationship that might lead to something down the road. A “not interested” often just means “not right now.” Priorities shift, budgets change and timing plays a big role.
By showing up regularly, being helpful and staying in touch, you stay on someone’s radar. That’s when they start thinking of you when a need arises. If you push too hard or try to rush things, it can have the opposite effect. Patience and consistency matter. The lawyers who succeed in business development are the ones who understand that it takes time and that relationships are what make it work.
Tips for relationship building
- Follow up with useful information or check in periodically without asking for business.
- Offer introductions or share resources that could help your contacts.
- Keep conversations focused on the client’s needs and priorities.
- Be patient and don’t rush to close a deal.
- Make sure to listen actively and respond thoughtfully.
Find Your Simple Story and Tell It Clearly
It’s worth spending time thinking about how you talk about your work. Not because you need a perfect line, but because clarity helps people understand what you do and how you can help. When someone asks, you want to be able to answer in a way that feels natural and easy to follow.
Start with the basics. Who do you work with? What kinds of problems do you help solve? Keep it simple and honest. The goal is to make it easy for someone to get what you do and feel comfortable asking more. When your explanation is clear, it opens the door to real conversation. People are more likely to stay engaged, ask questions and remember you later.
Buzzwords and jargon tend to get in the way. They can make things sound more complicated than they are or leave people unsure of what you mean. A straightforward description helps you feel more grounded and makes it easier for others to connect with you.
This kind of clarity comes from practice. Try saying it out loud in different settings. Notice what feels natural and what doesn’t. Over time, you’ll find a version that fits—and once you do, it becomes much easier to start conversations that lead somewhere.
Tips for storytelling
- Write down your core value proposition in one sentence.
- Avoid buzzwords or technical jargon that could confuse your audience.
- Test your story on colleagues and ask if it feels clear and authentic.
- Practice saying your story out loud until it sounds natural.
- Use your story to guide your conversations and marketing materials.
Use Nervous Energy To Your Advantage
Feeling nervous before a business development conversation is completely normal. It usually means you care about the outcome and want to do well. Instead of trying to push those nerves away, consider using them. That energy can help you stay alert, focused and present.
Nervousness often sharpens your attention. It can help you listen more closely, ask better questions and stay engaged in the moment. When you’re focused on the person in front of you, the conversation tends to flow more naturally.
It’s also worth remembering that most people feel some level of nerves in these situations. You don’t have to hide it or pretend you’re completely at ease. Being real often makes a stronger impression than trying to sound overly confident. People respond to authenticity.
Over time, the nerves settle. But even when they’re there, they don’t have to get in the way. They can remind you that the conversation matters, and that you’re showing up with care and intention.
Tips for managing your nerves
- Take slow, deep breaths before and during conversations.
- Shift your focus from yourself to the person you’re speaking with.
- Prepare a few key questions or phrases to guide the discussion.
- Remind yourself that nervousness is a sign you care.
- Practice mindfulness or grounding techniques to stay present.
Get Support From a Mentor or Accountability Partner
Business development can feel isolating, especially when you’re trying to figure it out on your own. Having someone to talk to, someone who understands the ups and downs, can make a real difference. It might be a mentor, a colleague or just someone who’s been through it and is willing to listen.
Sharing what’s working and what’s not helps take the pressure off. It gives you perspective and reminds you that progress doesn’t always look like a straight line. Talking through ideas, practicing conversations or even just checking in regularly can help you stay focused and encouraged.
You might also find value in joining a group or program where others are working toward similar goals. Being around people who are asking the same questions and trying new approaches can spark new thinking and make the process feel less heavy.
Support doesn’t need to be formal or structured. What matters is having people around you who get it, who are willing to share and who help you keep going when things feel slow or uncertain.
Tips for building support
- Reach out to a trusted colleague or friend to be your accountability partner.
- Join professional groups or business development workshops.
- Schedule regular check-ins to share progress and challenges.
- Ask for honest feedback and advice.
- Celebrate successes together to stay motivated.
You Already Have What It Takes
At its core, business development is about solving problems and delivering results. You already do that every day in your legal work. The difference is that business development asks you to do this earlier in the process, before formal agreements or contracts. You bring knowledge, experience and insight that clients value. Trust yourself and the expertise you have earned. Confidence grows as you stop doubting and start owning your value. Reminding yourself of past successes builds courage to reach out and connect. Every lawyer has what it takes to build relationships and grow their practice.
Tips to boost confidence
- Reflect regularly on successful projects and client outcomes.
- Keep a list of compliments or positive feedback you have received.
- Visualize yourself handling business development conversations calmly and effectively.
- Remind yourself of your unique strengths and expertise.
- Set realistic goals and celebrate each milestone.
How To Start Putting This Into Practice
Choose one mindset shift or habit from this article and focus on it for a week. It might be preparing more thoughtfully or sending a message that helps someone move forward. Keep it simple. Take one step each day and pay attention to what changes. Notice what feels easier, what feels harder, what starts to click. Tracking progress helps you see what’s working and where you need to adjust. That’s how momentum builds.
As you continue, business development starts to feel less like a task and more like something you know how to do. You begin to find your rhythm. Confidence builds. Conversations open up. You see how your efforts shape your reputation and how your approach lands with others. The work becomes more intuitive. You stop second-guessing and start trusting what feels right. That shift matters.
Progress comes from repetition. Not from pushing harder, but from showing up. The habit becomes part of how you operate. You learn what fits and what doesn’t. You find your voice. You build relationships that feel real. Results follow. What moves things forward is steady effort over time.
Tips for getting started
- Pick one simple goal like sending a follow-up email or researching a prospect.
- Set aside 15 minutes each day or every other day to focus on business development.
- Keep a journal or spreadsheet to record your activities and outcomes.
- Review your notes weekly to identify what is working.
- Adjust your approach based on your experience and feedback.
Why Business Development Matters Now More Than Ever
Growing a legal practice or career today means knowing how to develop business. It’s no longer optional. Clients and firms expect lawyers to take initiative and build relationships. That doesn’t mean pushing conversations or pretending to be someone you’re not. Progress comes from being thoughtful and consistent. When you work through the nerves and keep at it, business development starts to feel more natural and less like something you need to master all at once.
Confidence builds over time. You begin to find a way of working that fits and produces results. You learn what feels right, what opens doors and what earns trust. The more you practice, the more it becomes part of how you work.
You’re not starting from scratch. You’ve had conversations, built relationships, followed up with people, and made connections that matter. The next step is to be more deliberate. Pay attention to what works. Try something different. Stay with it even when the results take time. That’s how business development becomes part of your day-to-day. That’s how growth happens.
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