I have been seeing countless social media posts on things to do in the new year to achieve a more positive mindset and fulfilling life, and they’ve resonated with me as 2019 was a year of major change for me, much of it beyond my control.

They say the only constant in life is change, and if you are someone like me who doesn’t like change, unexpected change can be quite jolting and upsetting, whether it’s in your personal or professional life, or both.

One important lesson I’ve learned this year is that I only have control over myself and my own actions, so I no longer waste my energy on things I can’t control. You can’t make anyone do what you want – you can only be the best person you can be and trust the universe. I’ve learned some hard lessons in resiliency this year as well that have forever changed who I am. Life throws you curveballs all the time and the lows and adversity in your life can help you become a stronger more enlightened person if you choose to see them as growth opportunities and learn from them.

Here are some tips on how to be a stronger, better, more positive and resilient you for the new year and beyond.

  1. Move on – don’t feel sorry for yourself or wallow in negativity. Use a bad situation and misfortune to propel you to greater success.
  2. Embrace change and welcome challenges.
  3. Think of rejection as redirection towards something better – it just wasn’t meant to be if it didn’t work out or turn out the way you had hoped it would.
  4. Sometimes you have to choose to be happy – it won’t always come easy.
  5. Be kind, fair and stand up for yourself when you need to.
  6. Be kind to yourself and don’t put yourself down or speak negatively about yourself.
  7. Let go of what you can’t control.
  8. Stay away from drama and negativity.
  9. Be willing to take risks. Without risk there is no reward.
  10. Celebrate the successes of others in your life.
  11. Be careful who you trust.
  12. Positive thoughts create positive actions.
  13. Smiling can instantly uplift your mood.
  14. Believe in the power of karma – what goes around really does come around.
  15. Don’t overthink – it often leads to stress and decision paralysis.
  16. Don’t worry so much about the future or ruminate about the past. Instead try to enjoy the here and now.
  17. Don’t be a mean girl or guy (and don’t gossip).
  18. Kill your enemies with kindness.
  19. Trust your intuition. It often kicks into high gear to protect you.
  20. Let go of things you can’t control.
  21. Avoid comparing yourself to others.
  22. Speak kindly to yourself (and others).
  23. Do good things for others without expecting anything in return.
  24. Say no when you really don’t want to do something or don’t have the time for it.
  25. Stay away from people who drain your energy or make you feel badly about yourself.
  26. The quicker you choose to move forward, the quicker your suffering will end.
  27. Time really does heal everything.
  28. Assume good intent with others – unless proven otherwise.
  29. Do the worst first – and don’t procrastinate in general.
  30. Give to charity – help others who are in need.
  31. Commit to making new friends both professionally and personally.
  32. Don’t be afraid to say yes.
  33. Don’t be afraid to say no.
  34. Never give up.
  35. Everything really does happen for a reason.