The way you speak to yourself really matters. We can be our harshest critics.

I struggle with this every day.

In my head I hear things like “I’m a failure. I’m not good enough. I fail at relationships. I’m an imposter. I’m never going to be successful. Bad things happen to me because I deserve it.” I know this kind of criticism can be seriously damaging to my self-confidence. I don’t think I’m alone in having these thoughts.

Your inner critic attacks and undermines you to protect you from the shame of failure.

Me, letting go of negative self talk

Understand that your inner critic lives in your head, but you don’t have to take anything it says personally. Decide to choose your own thoughts and actions. Don’t let your negative thoughts hijack your self-worth. Instead choose a new, positive thought about yourself and focus on that. If there are certain parts of your life that you know need improving, do something about it.

You can start to forgive yourself for mistakes and regrets and learn to silence your inner critic, which feeds into your insecurities and stress and only holds you back. Your goal is to start feeling better and empower yourself.

Negative thoughts of any sort are toxic to your soul. If you allow yourself to be critical and judgmental of others (admit it, we’ve all been there!), you’re only setting yourself up with the mentality that it’s okay to be critical of yourself, too. Hold off on gossip and stay away from rash judgments.

Sometimes the only way to silence your inner critic is to drown it out with positive statements. It doesn’t have to be as hokey as telling yourself positive affirmations in the mirror. But giving yourself a pep talk when you’re really getting critical can do wonders. It’s not about bragging or trying to inflate your ego, it’s about being honest with yourself about what you do well. Sometimes we all need a little reminder that we’re capable people who can take on whatever life throws at us.

Being nasty to yourself is never okay and it’s certainly not productive. Instead, take tangible steps to improve. Set goals and track your progress. Even if it’s baby steps, gradually improving yourself will replace negative thoughts with positive ones and ultimately silence your inner critic.

Be kind to everyone especially yourself – it’s time to stop being our own worst enemies. ‪We each have the ultimate power over our own thoughts. Let’s replace the negative ones with positive ones.