Women can be so hard on each other in (and out of) the workplace doing things such as backstabbing, gossiping, purposely excluding someone from a meeting, taking credit for someone’s work or helping to push someone out of a job. Maybe you’ve been the target of some these behaviors at the hands of another woman at work. Please know that you aren’t alone.

I call this the dark side of working with women. I’ve been there too, and not just at work. This behavior can also rear its ugly head in your personal life. It’s deeply disturbing, and one of the worst parts is that it can be contagious, like a fast-spreading virus. What I mean by that is that one mean girl in a group can then serve as the “bad egg” and turn others against a target. And if you have ever been the target of mean girl behavior, the effects can be incredibly damaging on every aspect of your life – I don’t care how old you are, this behavior never gets easier to deal with.

Although outside of the office, women consider their girlfriends among their closest confidants, they aren’t always each other’s biggest supporters within the workplace. In fact, they can be each other’s worst nightmares and saboteurs, if they view each other as rivals.

Today there are Regina George-like characters in every industry, simply because there are more women in the workplace. Their catty behaviors such as gossiping, backstabbing and sabotaging can turn an otherwise pleasant workplace into a place of daily dread.

The silver lining is that while you will inevitably encounter mean girls throughout your career, learning how to manage them will make you stronger and more resilient. Dealing with someone like this enables you to emerge a more confident version of yourself.

Today, I am lucky enough to work in an environment free of mean girls (thank goodness!), but I do come into contact with them from time to time – just like we all do – and I carry with me the memories of working with some very toxic females, which have helped me develop a thicker skin, and learn how to navigate them – these are important skills to have throughout your career because you will inevitably encounter mean girls personally and professionally. I want to make it clear that are plenty of amazing, supportive women in the workforce, and I’ve been very lucky to work with a number of them. They aren’t threatened by other women, and instead they go above and beyond to help others succeed.

It’s important to remember that while you cannot can’t change someone else, you can change your own behavior, and this article will teach you how to do just that. 
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Take a look at a Q&A with me and my 2019 LMA Northeast Regional Conference co-chair Bob Robertson by Jacob Eidinger about our plans for #LMANE19. what we are each most excited about with regard to the conference and why you should join us in the Big Apple on November 14/15!

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Kindness is something I have been writing about a lot lately, and we can do so much to give back to others who really need help in a time of need or crisis. For example: 

Maybe they need a hand with childcare, a shoulder to cry on or extra help at work. 

Also, people get

Sometimes we need a reminder of the basics needed to be successful at work especially after being away on vacation or slacking off a bit during the summer.

The fall is a great time to refocus ourselves and find new meaning in our work, and to be a more engaged employee and colleague. Remember you

My mentor and wise friend Wendy Bernero has always reminded me that happiness is a choice available to each of us and is crucial for our well being. She also told me that it’s okay to not be okay all of the time.

After the recent and abrupt ending of a relationship that forced me to move out of my home, she again said to me, “I know you’re sad now, but you can to choose to be happy.” She went on to tell me that I must choose it or else it could be very damaging to me professionally and personally.

You can be stuck feeling bad during bad times or you can choose to make hardships and the worst times of your life teaching moments and turn them into something positive. You’d be surprised just how resilient each of us are if we just believe it.

Also, happiness comes easier to some people and others must choose to be happy at certain points in our lives in order to turn the tide around or just to carry on and not to fall into a dark hole of despair.

I’m about to share a personal story that is not easy for me – but I’m doing it in the hopes that it helps others. Not everyone shares what’s going on with them personally with professional colleagues, but I want others to know that life is messy and no one is perfect – especially me, and so many of us are struggling with personal crises and it’s a miracle we are so high functioning! It’s about time we got real and stop making it seem like everything is fine when it’s not. I also wanted others who are struggling to know that they are not alone, and again, it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.

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It’s important to remember that you should be kind to everyone, because every industry is incredibly tight knit.

Also, everyone is a potential referral source, or someone who could potentially hire you or recommend you for a job. You never know who knows who, and just like everyone checks you out online, people also ask

Sometimes in life, our greatest obstacle is ourselves. There’s U2 song that’s always resonated with me called “Get Out of Your Own Way” because so many of us, myself included, engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that undermine our success professionally and personally.

First off, getting out of your own way means that your thoughts, habits, beliefs,