Choose people who choose you is such a simple statement but it’s so hard for many of us to follow it.

I’ve learned the hard way the importance of being very careful about who I allow into my life both personally and professionally. 

I’ve also learned what I will tolerate and how I deserve to be treated by others. If I feel like I’m being disrespected or treated badly, I disappear instead of trying harder to make them like me.

Choosing the people who choose you involves reevaluating your current relationships in addition to establishing healthy self-care and learning about personal boundaries.

It also involves finding the strength to distance yourself from those who make you feel bad and don’t appreciate you. Sometimes you just have to – that’s protecting yourself and having personal boundaries. Sometimes this is temporary and sometimes it’s not.

It is about saying “I will not give you time and attention if you don’t treat me with respect and give me these things in return.” Despite knowing all of this it’s still so hard for many of us actually put it in practice even when someone has disappointed us.

Chiosing people who choose you means walking away with your head held high even though it hurts and you’re disappointed.

Choose people who choose you

Setting personal boundaries, even with people who do choose you, is crucial to any healthy relationship.

Personal boundaries help you decide what types of communication, behavior and interaction are acceptable. Why is it important to set boundaries?

  • To practice self-care and self-respect
  • To communicate your needs and expectations
  • To make time and space for positive interactions
  • To set limits in a relationship in healthy ways

All relationships are based on a two-way street but if you feel like you’re doing all the work, then that’s a sign to pull back.

You shouldn’t have to convince anyone to spend time with you or make you a priority. This applies both to personal and professional relationships.

If you feel like you’re pushing too hard, you probably are. Ask yourself why. It certainly doesn’t feel good to be in that position. So don’t. Remove yourself. Pull back and see what happens. Focus on yourself.

Every friendship has its ups and downs and ebbs and flows, but once you come to the realization that a relationship is no longer right for you, it’s okay to walk away from it no matter how long they’ve been in your life.

You will be too much or not enough for some people and that’s okay – those aren’t your people.

With more than 7 billion in the world and counting you will find the right people for you. You’re worth finding. It all starts within you.

Self-care is surrounding yourself with people who accept you with all of your flaws and imperfections. People who believe in your potential and encourage you to become the best version of yourself.

Although we don’t have any choice in how others act, we can choose ourselves first so remember to stop choosing people who aren’t choosing you too.

The people who don’t choose you are necessarily bad people, they’re just not your people. Keep moving forward.

Finally, take a moment to appreciate the people that do “choose” you. These are the only relationships on which you should focus your time and attention.