Two years ago today the best worst thing happened to me.
I was shell shocked/blindsided and at first it seemed like I lost a lot – my (not-so-committed) significant other, certain friends, then my job, a nice home – but I gained much more than I ever imagined. I hit the reset button on my life.
There’s a line in Alanis Morissette’s Ironic song that really resonates with me.
It goes like this, “life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything’s OK and everything goes up into flames.”
I thought I had it all but my life was really a house of cards. I didn’t harness the power of my intuition or listen to red flags.
My significant other out of the blue came home, accused me of doing something I didn’t do and told me our relationship was over and I needed to move out. He then started immediately dating one of our mutual acquaintances and moved her into our home.
Once the dust settled, I was able to see clearly that I had been surrounded by very bad people. His actions after we broke up also showed me who he was – calculating, cold, selfish, vindictive and narcissistic.
My life looked perfect from the outside especially if you looked at my social media feed, but it was anything but. I was in a relationship that was controlling and unhealthy for me. I had friends who enjoyed stirring up drama and liked seeing me fail. I needed to completely change the direction of my life and let these people go, but I hated change – so I let life happen to me instead of making decisions on my own.
Ask anyone who has achieved their goals and they’ll tell you that falling is a part of the process. It’s not the fall that matters; it’s the comeback. It’s pushing yourself through bad days as much as the good ones.
I often write about this concept in my LinkedIn posts and on my blog and these posts do really well because they’re not vanilla. Because I’m not afraid to share more than others.
The managing partner of a law firm messaged me one day and said “you write about things that other people are thinking, and I’m glad you do.” That meant so much to me.
Bad things happen to good people – life isn’t fair sometimes – but we just have to keep dusting ourselves off and find the good in the world no matter what.
Remember that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. And what doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. Remember to:
- Believe in yourself
- Listen to yourself
- Take chances by betting on yourself
- Step into your fears – move out of your comfort zone
- See your value
- Walk away from people who don’t see your value or who betray you in any way
- Trust your intuition
Today my life may not look exactly like I thought it would, but I’m exactly where I should be.
Here’s a recent picture of me just trying to enjoy the moment and not worrying too much about everything else. Can you relate? Keep your chin up, keep your faith and keep moving forward.