I’ve lost my job a few times. I’ve also had to rebuild my personal life from scratch twice. It’s never easy when it happens to you.

The last time was particularly brutal.

I had a job I loved and in which I was comfortable, but my home life had suddenly turned upside down when my significant other came home from work one day, ended our relationship, accused me of doing something I did not do and told me to move out of our home. He then started dating one of our mutual friends – someone with whom I had suspected something was going on. I couldn’t eat, sleep, let alone concentrate at work.

The rug was pulled from under me, and I had to find a new home, my beloved dog wasn’t doing great and deal with the loss and betrayal of certain friends and my of course my partner, who became my worst nightmare overnight.

One day soon after my personal life exploded, my male boss came to my office, knowing I was struggling and told me to “compartmentalize” what had happened to me — if only it were that easy!

I tried so hard to throw myself into work, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t on my A-game, I cried at work every day no matter how hard I tried not to. My work suffered because I was suffering. This wasn’t indicative of the person I was – the person who always received stellar performance reviews and was a Type-A personality. I had trouble concentrating. Everything was bleak. I couldn’t stop thinking about what my ex had done to me. I was scared.

The only other time I felt this way was when my mom passed away from cancer a few years ago. I didn’t know I was depressed at first, until I eventually went to my doctor and was diagnosed. But it was too late. I wound up losing my job a couple months later. I was told it wasn’t due to my breakup but of course it was related. HR departments have to say certain things.