My mentor and wise friend Wendy Bernero has always reminded me that happiness is a choice available to each of us and is crucial for our well being. She also told me that it’s okay to not be okay all of the time.

After the recent and abrupt ending of a relationship that forced me to move out of my home, she again said to me, “I know you’re sad now, but you can to choose to be happy.” She went on to tell me that I must choose it or else it could be very damaging to me professionally and personally.

You can be stuck feeling bad during bad times or you can choose to make hardships and the worst times of your life teaching moments and turn them into something positive. You’d be surprised just how resilient each of us are if we just believe it.

Also, happiness comes easier to some people and others must choose to be happy at certain points in our lives in order to turn the tide around or just to carry on and not to fall into a dark hole of despair.

I’m about to share a personal story that is not easy for me – but I’m doing it in the hopes that it helps others. Not everyone shares what’s going on with them personally with professional colleagues, but I want others to know that life is messy and no one is perfect – especially me, and so many of us are struggling with personal crises and it’s a miracle we are so high functioning! It’s about time we got real and stop making it seem like everything is fine when it’s not. I also wanted others who are struggling to know that they are not alone, and again, it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.